davidsprincess's Journal, 31 May 21

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😆 I haven't seen pics. I'm sure you're beautiful. But that's funny! 

Great sense of humor but I am sure you are lovely. 

Self-identify as a mermaid 🧜‍♀️ with me 😊 

A bit of body image anxiety, dear? You’ve been so focused on being your lowest for your trip. I’ve been thinking about you every day, creepily enough, and I’ve been trying to find the right way to say this. Your body now is not going to be an exact replica of your body a few weeks or months ago. What one particular weight looked on you will never be the same way twice. Your body has been changing, and what you once looked like at a certain weight may be completely different from what you look like now at the same weight. I am going through a similar realization; at my current weight, I am so happy with my body and yet when I was this weight 8 years ago I was convinced I was the fattest person alive. I’m blathering on about this for a reason. Do you have any way to measure your progress outside of the scale? Are you doing measurements? The scale is so fickle that I don’t think anyone can trust it to give an accurate assessment of progress. Just saying. 

Awww, Kaybuckaroo- Thanks for thinking of me. Yes- I am the queen of weighing and measuring. My inches are up. My 10's are tight and I don't dare attempt the 8's right now. The scale definitely never tells the whole story. ❤ But I have serious work to do to get where I was- just in March- let alone to a final weight with which I will be satisfied. And I will. ;) Some days just call for Chinese buffet.  

Kay brings up some important points. 

Can you describe the physical changes you want to make in concrete terms? Is that a good goal, to get down to the size eights, if you are,say, building up that booty? You made such drastic lifestyle choices from before that it would be advantageous if you took into account all of the positive changes that have continued to have an even though you have still wanted to have a chimichanga or whatever you said in your post. I just don’t want to see you cross that line further into disordered thinking, body dysmorphia etc. You know I’m big on that shit and I genuinely care. 

Hey DP! You’re funny! I’ve seen the photos and know better. I hope you and your family are doing well. I think I may be passive-aggressive about losing right now with a physical coming up. Just feeling defiance toward the doctor. 

Haha- Tom. I know that defiance feeling. No one is going to tell me what to do- damn it. Kaybuckaroo- Size 8 is a very reasonable goal. Size 6- probably not so much. I think size 4 or 2 or 0 is only if you are 5 feet or less and that I am not. But 8- it is manageable and I did it before. I was just overeating. No two ways about it.