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Morning BG 99. Lately, I haven't been eating on plan and it certainly shows on the scale. STRESS. Instead of pushing me towards food, I seem to have lost my appetite altogether.
So as of TODAY, I'm back to taking my supplements and my vitamin D. Through all this I've slacked off. I went shopping yesterday so I bought some things I like. I also ordered a bottle of French Vanilla Stevia. Spoiling myself, I know:)
I'm just so bummed with everything that has happened. Loss of my mom, a recent suicide attempt, my oldest is dealing with his own issues so he's not talking to me and now my daughter is talking about moving to California which is so much farther away from me than she is now.
Gawd I really hate posting negative journals. Especially this time of year but there you have it. This is what's been going on. And yes I know I will work through this, it's just so damn hard some days.
But as I already know, life is not stagnant. It does not stand still but continually spirals upward and outward. So without further ado, I'm turning on some music, getting dressed and going to see what I can do to change my environment, starting with the laundry.
I haven't left the path, I just fell asleep for a bit:P
OK, time to pray to the java Goddess!
View Diet Calendar, 21 December 2010:
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1456 kcal
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Fat: 119.48g | Prot: 61.58g | Carbs: 36.12g.
Breakfast: heavy cream. Lunch: sugar, vinegar, shrimp, tomato, scallion, Mayonnaise Dressing with Extra Virgin Olive Oil, lettuce. Dinner: garlic, green pepper, mushrooms, butter, steak. Snacks/Other: heavy cream. more...
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 Comments
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Ruby, take care of yourself. I know that things have been stressful for you. Here's hoping that 2011 is a great year for you...Merry Christmas, my dear friend! <3<3<3
21 Dec 10 by member: ctlss
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Thank you Bren and Stef!! I've had a bit of a setback already. I couldn't get the hose off my vacumn after I used it to blow out my puter. I hate being so puny. I have virtually no strength in my arms and hands so I'm literally wore out from struggling with it. I had to find a neighbor to fix it for me. Ok.. taking a breather and more coffee. <smiles> I do want to "thank you" for being here, especially during such a hectic time. You're the BEST!
21 Dec 10 by member: RubyRedSox
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Ruby, I hate that feeling of not being able to do something...it is soooo frustrating. Like opening a jar of pickles (last night)...ticks me off! lol Enjoy the coffee. I am on my 3rd cup...black...:P
21 Dec 10 by member: ctlss
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Yeah Stef, I get SO freaking mad sometimes. I mean, I have to use scissors to open freezer bags!! You know, the ones you come home from the store packed with frozen veggies or chicken in them? Yeah.. after I've removed the peel off strip and then resealed the bag and put it in the freezer, I can't open the frigging bag again. It's like it's welded shut! It's certain motions like this that are the worst. I just have no strength. Between the fibro and the damage, I've been reduced to tears just trying to open something. Thank goodness, I can usually find a neighbor at home. Of course, If I want something at 2a.m., I'm usually outta luck. <BIG grin>
21 Dec 10 by member: RubyRedSox
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Me too!! I understand the freezer bag thing...have the same problem myself, but I am lucky that I have the hubby here to do it for me! lol
21 Dec 10 by member: ctlss
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Hail Caffeina! Sounds like a lot of stress hitting at a time of year that is pretty stressful to begin with. :( But it does sound like you have good coping strategies and outlook. Can't say anything about the California move... I love our fair state. But I do know about kids moving away. My daughter is down in SoCal these days.
21 Dec 10 by member: Rowanfair
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I'm really glad you have a helpful man around Stef:) There are times they can be pretty handy. As for me, I'm just far too difficult to keep one around very long LMAO!
21 Dec 10 by member: RubyRedSox
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Yo Rowan:) Yeah, it kinda bites when all the kids are so far away. It's just economics, I know. At least I have a webcam. My daughter and I have coffee-cam dates lol.
21 Dec 10 by member: RubyRedSox
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Be sweet to yourself Ruby and try to stay positive because you deserve to feel good even though life is not always the best of what we want. TOWANDA!!!!!
23 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online
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Merry Christmas Ruby and a Happy Healthy New Year. TOWANDA!!!
25 Dec 10 by member: Lisa Online
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RubyRedSox's Weight History
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