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I haven't been doing so well and need to get myself together. I have lots of "reasons" for my poor choices, but they are still my decisions; I have to do a turn around. Having so many guests so frequently is a dietary challenge, since I have been fixing more "fun" food for the college kids. I got sick a couple days... not too sick to cook but too under the weather to go to the gym. Then, probably because of cooking so much, I have a hand that got pretty serious eczema suddenly. This means I will not lift until it heals. It probably will be another couple days. But, that doesn't explain why I don't even want to go for a walk. I feel like a slug. I think I am tired... physically and also just weary of being totally dedicated to my health and diet for a year. I am sick of it, and that is the honest truth. Considering I have the rest of my life to be "be totally dedicated," I need to get my head together. Nibbling everything I want and not logging or measuring or... caring... Well, I know where that path leads. There is no other option, so here I am starting again. I don't know what my weight is... how much could I gain in a week? I don't have the courage to even check. Back to logging every bite. I know I can and will do better. I know how.
View Diet Calendar, 28 December 2019:
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1259 kcal
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Fat: 64.67g | Prot: 63.80g | Carbs: 98.23g.
Breakfast: Market Pantry Half & Half. Lunch: QFC Low Fat Cottage Cheese. Dinner: Dill Cucumber Pickles , Meatless Egg Roll, Kirkland Signature Peppermint Bark, Kirkland Signature Peppermint Bark, Carrots, Ham (Whole, Cured, Roasted) . more...
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21 to 40 of 43
 Comments
You got this .... every day is a new start.. don’t be so hard on yourself.. we’ve all been their
28 Dec 19 by member: CharlieLovesChaplin
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Hang in there M❣ Everyone here is supportive and so impressed with what you've accomplished to date. it didn't happen overnight and this is just a small slice of time comparatively. Remember, life is a marathon not a sprint! You got this girl❣👍💕🤗
28 Dec 19 by member: ripsic
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Kenny, thanks so much. Having the wisdom to just move forward is not easy but so needed to not just feel awful and keep sliding. I know that in my head anyway! I was hesitant to once again share my panic... I have in the past and feel a bit stupid being here again, but I know how badly I need the support... I know how honest and yet kind you guys are. Thank you!
28 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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Oh keyten! You are a blessing! Thank you yet again... Your words always give me help and the feeling I can do it. Cheerleader extraordinary! 😁 ❤️ I do just so hate the dark... 4:30 is too darn early to have no sun... Even if you can't see it through the grey blanket. Just four more months... Maybe it will snow someday and then be bright! 😁 I am so thankful for this past year. I changed more than I dreamed possible, so I am going to keep my focus on that! 😁 Thank you again, dear! ❤️😊
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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Angelgirl, yes, tomorrow can be saved... Better than lost for sure! Charlie, we do understand each other... Those of us here have certainly worked but also know how hard it can be. All we can do is keep at it! Ripsic, Mr success... I do so appreciate your faith in me. I do feel so frustrated that I still have setbacks... I just want to be strong and have this all figured out... To be such a grand example, but I have to be honest or I will just run away and fail alone. Thank you all for your help!
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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Thank you Melissa! You know, we all have these same struggles. Be it trying to take weight off or put it back on. After really honing my diet lifestyle to foods I love that I can (and literally must or I get dangerously low BF levels..) eat, I've found eating enough calories, in particular protein to be onerous and quite the chore. After eating just last night I walked into the bathroom and felt fat!!! Looking at the mirror grudgingly convinced me otherwise, however do not feel bad, threatened or alone. Remember this, a very wonderful person once said there is no new or original thought or feeling in this universe. Just look at an old picture, then the mirror and you'll realize just how strong you are, have been and will be. You've already figured this out!!!!! This community is one of your mirrors so believe what you see and what you're hear. I send this with love and respect. Like I said, you got this girl!!!!
29 Dec 19 by member: ripsic
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I blame the weather 🤣 The sun came out for 5 minutes here and then it was gone. So dark and dreary this time of year in Seattle (and no snow ❄️)
We’ll all get back in our healthy habits soon enough and reach new goals. My “bulking” experiment is almost over and I’m anxious to see how it turned out. Scan later this week. Hopefully the weight gain is some lean mass 😁.
Hang in there! You got this!
29 Dec 19 by member: love2educate
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Melissa, Lately I have been going through the same changes. Christmas does that. Christmas and Thanksgiving is all it was. I have been slowly reversing the engorging I got my mind and stomach use to and I am almost back to my normal eating habit. Break out that big coffee mug and make a list of thing to do! It's Sunday already isn't it? Oh well, work on a list for Monday and just focus on You for a while.
29 Dec 19 by member: jaimejay
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Rip, you are just a lovely human aren't you!? 🤗❤️ It is hard to believe looking at your picture that you ever struggle with anything, but I know you are an overcomer from your story. Thank you for your wise words and kindness. Fiveball, thanks! I did weigh this morning, and it isn't pretty. But, I'm going to keep your words in my mind. I get to watch the number come down. 😁
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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Love2! You are doing so well! I'm looking forward to hearing about your scan results too, and hopefully we get to meet in a month or so! I'll be back down to a proper weight for sure by then! 😁 You know that five mioof sun? I missed it... I had drive a college kid up to Camano Island to join "my" others at a cabin. They were talking about seeing the sun, and when I got home my hubby said the sun was just streaming in for a while. Not for me!!! I saw not a bit of the golden glow. 😢 For those not living in a cloud it is probably hard to fathom the joy the sun brings! 😁
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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Jamie dear! We have been at this for a while haven't we? Well we gotta just keep trudging and remember how good it feels to be doing well! Thanks for always being a grand suport! 😁 ❤️
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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I absolutely appreciate your post - it's honest and i can definitely relate. exhaustion through the holidays often happens - i have been lying around for days just binge watching shows - and the constant attention to your own diet and lifestyle can definitely be a drain. it's recharge time ... you needed a break ... we all do ... and the toughest thing to do is not beat ourselves up. i read through all the wonderfully supportive comments and agree, this forum is like no other for support. glad you got on the scale, though that's not all there is right? ... it tells you where you are and now you can reset your sights on where you want to be.
29 Dec 19 by member: br_e_co
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Mel, your last two sentences. “ I know I will” = I love the way Ive looked and felt this past year. “I know how”= I succeeded in making this healthy change in my life! But someplace you’ve misplaced your joy? I look at your old pics and compare them to your recent.... yes your weight changed must more importantly your eyes now are bright and focused, you beam with confidence not seen in your prior pics. If I might add, your HOT! Lol. Find your joy Mel. Happy New Year!
29 Dec 19 by member: 66Pack
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br_e_co, thank you so much for your comments and understanding. It feels really vulnerable to show "failure" and discouragement, but you are so right how amazingly blessed we are to have the people in this community. Onward we march together!!!
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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60pack! Wow! If I wasn't motivated before, you just gave me that gift! Thank you for taking the time to help me and encourage me. I know I feel completely different from this time last year, and that alone should be enough to keep me on track. I am so thankful for you... For the successful people here who help us along. And, the sun is out today!!!! Must be just for me. I'm going to get sun on my skin if I have to shiver in short sleeves to get it. ♥️🤗😁 Thank you!!!
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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Melissa, I agree with the others. Don't beat yourself too badly. As others have pointed out, it's a struggle for everyone at some point or another. You have helped me at times when I was getting frustrated. Your post today has helped me again. We all have our moments...
29 Dec 19 by member: John10251
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Oh, John! I actually helped you!? Gosh that in itself is an encouragment!! 😁 😁 I am feeling a lot better today. Weight is awful, but I know how to change it, and I'm back to 👣! Thank you, John!
29 Dec 19 by member: melissatwa
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Melissa, I want to say more when I have more time, but right now, I want to ask if you’ve ever heard of Leslie Sansone on you tube? Please check her out. During these dreary months, she might have something you’d love! She basically saved my life years back. 💕💕
29 Dec 19 by member: wifey9707
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If at first you don't succeed. Try try try again.
29 Dec 19 by member: Royaltea82
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I love Leslie Sansone's videos!! Helped me losing weight the last few years. She have many different walking videos, I started out with just one mile when I recovered from cancer. worked my way to her 3-5 miles videos.
29 Dec 19 by member: pocahontas1972
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melissatwa's Weight History
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