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44.2% fat
43% water
I'm down almost 3 lbs since yesterday. I know my own goal is to try to stay under 2000 calories and I went way over last night. I eat for comfort, to stay awake, to feel like I'm accomplishing one more thing during the day to make up for something real that I never got to.
I know last night's binge was unnecessary but I was aware the whole time and conscious not to let the normal "blackout" mentality take over. It was back but I'm fully aware that it could've been much worse.
I know today I'm going to be better. I do have support at home. I just need to let it in. I need to stop blaming others and myself for my decisions. Each choice I make it mine and I need to own it.
I turned 40 in June and made a huge push. From January until mid June I went from 309 to 280. I felt phenomenal and thought I'd never see the 290s let alone the 300s even again. I was close to reaching the 270s. I let my negative side take over and infiltrate my thinking and the laziness soak into my pores. I think it's been harder these last few months gaining all this weight back because lazy doesn't look good on me and feeling disheartened about clothes feeling tighter again or having to buy bigger clothes to make sure you don't look silly for a business trip becomes a necessity.
Today is a new today. I'm proud of losing my almost 3 lbs yesterday and being more conscious of what i'm putting in my body. It's a good thing I made it to the gym yesterday for my racquetball match with my partner who keeps me going. I plan in getting there today and keeping at it and hopefully get that step I lost one half step at a time.
Maybe I'll even try weights again. Maybe I'll crash a little less tonight and each night hereafter. I'm still going to live and i'm still looking forward to beers and drinks on the weekends but i have a lot of conscious work to do in the meantime.
I'm ready to attack hump day and I'm going to win.
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143.4 kg
Lost so far: 0 kg.
Still to go: 50.4 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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View Diet Calendar, 14 November 2018:
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1603 kcal
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Fat: 126.57g | Prot: 70.64g | Carbs: 50.50g.
Breakfast: BodyLab Liquid Gold, Athenos Natural Crumbled Feta Cheese, Green Peas (Frozen), Scrambled Egg (Whole, Cooked), Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk, Green Mountain Coffee Breakfast Blend K-Cup. Lunch: BodyLab Liquid Gold, Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Vanilla Milk, Coffee, Driscoll's Raspberries, French's Classic Yellow Mustard, Garden Cuts Green Leaf Lettuce, American Cheese, Lunch Mate Deli Sliced Oven Roasted Turkey Breast. Dinner: Blue Diamond Almond Breeze Unsweetened Vanilla Milk, BelGioioso Crumbled Gorgonzola, Celestial Seasonings Caffeine Free Herbal Tea, Shrimp , Arugula (Rocket) , Green Giant Riced Veggies Cauliflower. more...
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Losing 8.9 kg a Week
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