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Had a great weekend with my parents. Went out Saturday with dad and Sunday with Mom. We roamed around some stores. A lot of riding in the car but it was good.
Been a little irked at Hubs but I haven't told him what made me upset yet. He is stranded in Tennessee with another trucking issue. This time the shipper sent light poles to a location a month early, and they didn't want them. I didn't want to complain at him when he was already upset and stranded. But Friday night I was really grumpy and cocooned away from everyone. I'm trying to decide if it is worth even telling him what made me angry. I don't think it would cause any change in his behavior. I already told him Saturday that I don't think the problem will get any better. He said that that's not true. Time is ticking in my book for the problem to resolve.
We shall see. I plan to take my therapeutic drive that I haven't gotten to take. It rained Friday and Saturday evening and I was too tired to go last night. Granted I rode with my parents this weekend. I need music, the road and my thoughts. Even if it is just 45 mins. I need it!
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52.5 kg
Lost so far: 7.3 kg.
Still to go: 0.4 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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1412 kcal
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Fat: 65.45g | Prot: 79.09g | Carbs: 150.62g.
Breakfast: Great Value Turkey Sausage Sticks, Equate Meal Replacement Shake - Creamy Milk Chocolate. Lunch: Atkins Protein Meal Chocolate Almond Butter Bar. Dinner: 2% Fat Milk, StarKist Foods Tuna Creations Sweet & Spicy, Worthington Loma Linda Hawaiian Bowl. Snacks/Other: Kroger Crunchy Peanut Butter, Munch Rights Cheddar & Sour Cream Baked Puffs, Bananas , Pop Secret Popcorn Butter 100 Calorie Pop. more...
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1739 kcal
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Exercise:
Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 30 minutes, Driving - 1 hour and 25 minutes, Watching TV/Computer - 2 hours, Desk Work - 8 hours, Showering - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 3 hours and 45 minutes. more...
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Losing 0.6 kg a Week
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 Comments
It was kind of you to wait and not add to your husband's stress. Marriage is hard!
02 Aug 22 by member: zapotz
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@zapotz I finally talked to him about it last night. It was an odd phone call. I merely told him why I was angry and he got on my case.
03 Aug 22 by member: WisteriaSky233
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We have the same problem. I calmly tell him I need some sort of specific change. He gets defensive about the behavior and angry at me for having a problem with it. There's a lot going on here. In our case, even though I was calm when I brought it up, he remembers me as angry and yelling. Even though I was careful to avoid words like always and never, he "heard" them anyway. This always devolves into me being upset that he's yelling at me; he says he's not yelling, and that I was yelling (which I wasn't). I figured out that "yelling" was a trigger word for him, and it was more productive to say that I didn't like that he was angry.
03 Aug 22 by member: zapotz
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I finally told him that I was not putting up with this dynamic anymore. (Context: we have been together 20 years and I absolutely have the means/$ to leave.) I told him that he is a good person that always tries to do the right thing, and he doesn't get negative feedback from anyone but me, so he doesn't know how to deal with it. I suggested he respond with a "sandwich". 1) I see the problem, I did do x. 2) (Calmly) Here's why I did x. 3) In the future, I can try to do y. He appreciated me acknowledging his general goodness and good intentions. Look into meta-communication.
03 Aug 22 by member: zapotz
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@Zapotz Yes, I think mine heard me poking at him because I said, "I found your spit cup under your desk and it upset me that you hid it." He said he didn't hide anything and that the more I harp on him the longer it would take to change. And if I keep on he will say screw it and do it anyway. He said I am the only woman he has tried to quit for and if I gave him more honey than s$%@ he would try harder. I told him I wish I hadn't called him. Yes, I like that idea. Maybe I will try that next time. But he says he knows I love him and want him to be healthy but to be patient with him.
03 Aug 22 by member: WisteriaSky233
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I quit dipping after a long time probably about 20 years worth. It's extremely difficult for a lot of reasons. But not impossible... I'm at 1,040 days without a dip. I still get the urge here and there. BUT I lean on what you've brought up several times. My health and wanting to be around as long as I can for my family is more important. I've found that they have some amazing "fake" dips/chew out there now that people love. If I were ever to fall back into that habit that would be my choice. Use the stuff that gives you the feel but doesn't have any of the bad stuff. Maybe look into it and see if he'd be willing to try it. Dipstop.com is a place I've heard a lot of good things about.
03 Aug 22 by member: Joe Not Exotic
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Wisteria, you're young and pretty and now a fab size 5. Fighting someone else's addiction is a losing battle.
03 Aug 22 by member: JustBananas
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@Better than I use to be Thanks. He smoked and much prefers smoking and told me he doesn't like dipping. Sadly when I ask questions, like last night, he sometimes gets cranky. I don't understand any of it and I really get aggravated when he acts like he isn't on the same level as a drug addict when I see it as the same thing. It bothers me every day. But he doesn't want me being open about my feelings when in Hyde mode. IDK I have really gotten so over it that I contemplate cutting my losses and moving on.
03 Aug 22 by member: WisteriaSky233
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My dad's saying was do whatever your heart tells you is right. So I say the same to you! It doesn't seem as though you're happy with his inability to nix the habit. Good luck to you moving forward with whatever you decide.
03 Aug 22 by member: Joe Not Exotic
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WisteriaSky233's Weight History
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