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UGH no soda today.
my fiancee has a soda problem and often times for dinner he will grab me a caffeine free one.
Usually i don't finish it and will give the rest to my 9year old. Feel like Hypo-arousal Emotional Dysregulation (mimics depression/might be actual depression) is kicking in; feelings of fear, low mood, low energy, feel like ima cry and dont know why, fear of abandonment, xbox is my friend more then my weight set right now, contemplated ice cream for breakfast, i only made bacon instead. Ive been practicing Greek and Italian more; languages i used to be fluent in but family problems/ divorce/ estrangement plus γιαγιά (yiayia-greek for grandma) having dementia caused me to 'forget' alot of the languages. More like stored but hard to recall until i hear/read it and am like 'oh yeah! Όπα!'
idk. You cant have growth without rest. mentally and physically, its a rest period and it aligns with the dark moon. the moon is hiding, and with no light from moon, everything is a shadow, all of the negatives can be seen, felt, and experienced. I dont fight this anymore, i have to feel it to release it. 25 years of trauma being reckoned with all at once; it can be scary at times.
thanks for coming to my ted talk. lol
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85.0 kg
Lost so far: 13.4 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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2490 kcal
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Fat: 127.43g | Prot: 89.09g | Carbs: 240.42g.
Breakfast: Kirkland Signature Bacon, Great Value Heavy Whipping Cream Ultra Pasteurized, Coffee. Lunch: Subway 12" Italian BMT, Crush Soda Orange Soda (Can), Betty Crocker Caramel Brownie, Mrs. Richardson's Hot Fudge Topping, Great Value Chocolate Ice Cream, Sweet Baby Ray's Original Barbecue Sauce, Jack's Original Thin Pepperoni Pizza. Dinner: Cabot Habanero Pepper Cheese, Doritos Spicy Nacho Tortilla Chips, Tostitos Restaurant Style Salsa, Great Value All Natural Sour Cream, Pork Loin (Tenderloin). more...
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Gaining 5.1 kg a Week
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