You can do this. It is very important to investigate any plan before you definitely do it. My daughter had the surgery and somehow it did not work for her. She gained most of the weight back. Over the last 60 years , I've probably tried everything and most successful when I ate healthy foods and portions. and excercise. hope this helps.
15 Sep 20 by member: carol655
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I have some thoughts on this as well. I would never judge anyone whether they chose to have the surgery or not, and I know that you are not. My best friend from college had the surgery and she can no longer eat. I know this because I have been out to eat with her. She eats off her husbands plate and I mean two or three bites and that is it. My old adjunct professor and her twin had the surgery..her twin lived, but she did not survive. I also know several people who had it and gained every pound back and then some. So for me, the surgery will not be happening. That being said I wish there was a magic fix because I am in for a long battle to lose this weight.
15 Sep 20 by member: rcguenth
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people will do what they want. all you can do is be positive. I'm sure she has been told the risks and it's out of your hands.
15 Sep 20 by member: Trish 54
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Keep on trying but in the end it's her decision..
15 Sep 20 by member: wholefoodnut
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Thanks for the feedback. We have a couple months until her surgery. Maybe as she sees me finally succeeding at this without the surgery, she will let me help her or at least give it more time.
You are right Trish, people will do what they want. I have always felt like the momma bear to all my little cousins, so its hard to accept that they are grown ups now and making their own decisions.
15 Sep 20 by member: crm22415
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👋🏼Crm, sounds you have a good head on your shoulders and have put a LOT of thought into this issue...I applaud YOU for your personal choice. Bear in mind that slow and steady usually wins the race🤙🏼
15 Sep 20 by member: acomandr
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I try not to judge people who have had it and to each his/her own- but I am proud of myself for losing my weight on my own. It means more, in my opinion. My sister had lap band. I hate that people assume my weight loss is because I did the same thing she did when in fact, I've worked very hard for what I have accomplished and still have more to go.
15 Sep 20 by member: davidsprincess
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I've been following Dr. John McDougall for a long while. Here's one experience of a patient that had gastric surgery that still didn't do the job, but a change of lifestyle/eating did: https://www.drmcdougall.com/health/education/health-science/stars/stars-written/mike-wilson/
15 Sep 20 by member: rogershsv
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👋 I had a lab band in 1994, weight 280lb, at age 19. Fast forward to 2014 I was malnourished at 160lb and sick, band needed to be removed. I recovered with a fully functioning stomach and ate myself to 210lb. So yeah unless ones figures out their eating habits not much will change long term. I understand the need to get a “boost” when you are really heavy but the mental aspect is so important to figure out. Nutrition is key. Understanding nutrition is key. Understanding your own relationship with food is imperative.
It’s like women who want tummy tucks but don’t realize it’s a skin removal surgery, you can’t get rid of that “6 months preggo” looking belly with a tummy tuck. No honey you gotta lose fat first.
Anyways, I could rant too.
Keep pushing to eat right and exercise because that’s the most natural and sustainable way.
15 Sep 20 by member: Lowkeylife
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Has your cousin considered gastric sleeve surgery? It’s less invasive than bypass. And has less risks involved. But...nothing is a magic wand. It is a tool to guide in weight loss. If your head is not in it... you will not be successful. I admire you for your successful weight loss. Hopefully your cousin will follow in your footsteps.
15 Sep 20 by member: 3xmamma
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I had a gastric bypass at 22, 5'3" and almost 300 pounds. I lost a lot and got pregnant. I succumbed to pressure to stop losing during pregnancy and was not what most would consider a success after weight loss surgery.
HOWEVER, over the next 23 years, I did not go over 230. While this might not seem like a victory, it was.
When I was in the right headspace to really address my lifestyle, my health was not significantly worse and I had been able to actively raise 4 kids to active adults.
Now I'm working on the rest.
I do not regret my surgery. I consider it a tool, and one that has helped me.
I am sorry you have had so many people have bad experiences with if and the associated fear for your loved one.
But remember, you cannot diet for someone else. You cannot exercise for them. You can encourage and support, but deciding someone else's correct tools might not be yours to decide.
15 Sep 20 by member: yoenepalmer
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Some people have such trouble. I was about to give up until I tested my dna for the right diet for my body
15 Sep 20 by member: Angelrose5
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I watched My 600lb Life almost daily for a few months and the biggest thing I learned from that show was that the surgery seemed pointless. Dr Now would always pit his clients on a diet and they would have to prove that they could control their eating. Most of them would do it and do it well. Dropping 40 to 50lbs in a month. At this point I always wanted to scream at them "You just proved to yourself that you don't need the surgery. You can do this on your own."
There are a few who see it as a tool to help them, but it's a dangerous tool. That comes with extreme risks that can't be denied.
I would gather the facts and have a serious sit down with them. I wouldn't tell them what to do, but would deliver those facts and let them know how much I care about them and that I want them to be able to make a very informed decision about their future.
15 Sep 20 by member: SythianBard
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I wish insurance would pay for excess skin removal for my friend who is depressed about having excess skin after her weight loss. She still has type 2 but is off the meds. Why not reward people who took the lower risk route? If she had the gastric bypass it would have raised premiums. I really don’t get it.
15 Sep 20 by member: Change824ah7520
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Hi Change. My doctor and I talked about skin removal as a goal for me. She said that if I make regular appointments as I lose weight and she keeps a paper trail of skin irritations, prescription creams, and how the loose skin is impacting my physical and mental health, she will advocate for me that it is medically necessary and not just cosmetic purposes once I reach my goal. We will see.
15 Sep 20 by member: crm22415
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Thanks FSF. These comments are really helping me get my head around this topic and how to talk to my cousin about it. <3
15 Sep 20 by member: crm22415
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thank you for the information i was thinking about getting the surgery im 45 years old tried alot of different diets but nothing works well. i also have something that my food doesn't Process fast enough so the doctor recommend the surgery but im afraid.
17 Sep 20 by member: Yolanda Ace
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cram, I feel for you about your young friend. I am 62 and had a neighbor in her later 60's who opted for bariatric surgery after doing a balloon surgery she said "didn't work" and like the one you mentioned now is damaged inside and has issues for life. These are not guaranteed surgeries on either side. From what I understand they also do nutrition counseling and some sort of weight loss to show an ability to want to lose weight before a doctor will do the surgery. If she is eating the way she normally does before the surgery it won't work. I have a son-in-law as proof. Gained it all back. I am a recovering bulimic/anorexic. My last bout of anorexia was at age 42. My point in all of this yakking is...I went to long-term counseling for my food issues. If regular dieting and/or not wanting to succeed in it is not working. There is an underlying issue(s) that is causing a subconscious self-destruct mode. You see, the only thing we can control is what goes in our mouths when we feel out of control. Those with eating issues usual don't recognize that until it is brought to their attention. I hope this helps. Sorry it is long.
17 Sep 20 by member: Cailinlass
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For those who have had the surgeries please do not take offense to my previous comment. I know there are reasons for the surgeries and those who do what doctors plan with them. But I also personally know those who do not plan on doing the healthy lifestyle that is needed after the surgery and then want another and the doctor's who give it to them anyway. Then there are doctors who do these surgeries for the money cause it is now on insurances even for low-income and social security. I believe counseling by a doctor is a good thing to do prior to a surgery. I am glad I had mine. I worked for me. I had issues in my younger life I did not know I was carrying all those years. I'm still overweight and I struggle. But that is what worked for me. Everyone is different. I was commenting on her friend from what I interpreted. I fear she is getting the surgery for the wrong reason and concerned the doc is not paying attention to her pre-surgery eating plan and weight prior to surgery. There should be some loss of weight. I'm not a person to put one down but am one that is concerned for people's lives.
17 Sep 20 by member: Cailinlass
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I agree. I don't think anyone should choose gastric surgery. If they can lose the weight on their own without altering their body negatively and permanently, then they should. It is a problem of the mind, not the body. It seems like they get gastric surgery because they didn't fix their mental problems or self control problems.
17 Sep 20 by member: shintensei
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