sunnybutterfly's Journal, 18 Jan 20

I’m glad to have lost, but not happy to see 173 again. It’s a number that seems to be sticking to me.
I gained 20 lbs over a years time. In July I married a man who I’ve known and was friends with for 25 years. He lives in Arkansas and I had moved away and lived in other states for the past couple of decades. Then in August of 2018 I moved back to the area, within an hour from where he lived. We reconnected were engaged shortly after. 10 months leading up to the wedding, I put pressure on myself to lose weight. I looked fine, was 160, wanted to drop 10. To my horror, I only gained. I was so busy planning the wedding, making cookies, enjoying all the celebrating and festivities leading up to it. I had to go to the dr for a sinus infection at the end of June. Now, I knew my clothes were getting tighter and I was becoming uncomfortable in my own skin. I was feeling more sluggish. Physical activity tired me quicker. I told myself I probably picked up 5 lbs or so. When I got on the scale at the Dr. office I saw numbers that’s I hadn’t seen since I was pregnant. 175. Wait, did I gain 15 lbs Before my wedding?
I didn’t look at my wedding pictures for almost two months after our wedding. It was a wonderful, magical day. I felt beautiful in my dream dress marrying my dream man. But when I saw some pictures of me my friends had taken, I didn’t feel so great. Of course my husband assured me I looked beautiful. I didn’t believe him.
I first got on FS in July, after my wedding. It seemed like something that would be a good fit for me. I kept it in private setting and just wanted to privately get the weight off. The calorie counting helped me a lot and keeping a journal of what I was eating and facing my weight was all very helpful. Then life got busy again and I decided I didn’t care about my weight anymore and would just learn to accept myself as I am.
I started finding the beauty in myself once again instead of looking at everything that’s wrong with me. It was a much needed inner journey I needed to take. And, in that self journey I reminded myself that what I want is to feel healthy and boost energy. I want to live a long healthy life. And to do that I have to take care of my body so it will take care of me.
In mid December I got on the scale again to face my weight and to start doing something about it. I was up to 185. Heavier than when I was pregnant.
This time I’ve decided to make slow lifelong changes instead of quick fads. I dropped 10 lbs pretty quick. I’ve been stuck around the same spot for a couple of weeks. But, I’m learning a lot about my body. What I have to limit for my health. What I need more of. And sometimes, well, I’m going to have a couple of glasses of wine and I want chocolate. But, I’m strengthening my will power and learning to not be so hard on myself. Also, I remind myself that’s what’s important is how my clothes fit and how I feel. The size 12 lbs pants I was forced to buy are getting looser. My shirts aren’t near as tight. I already feel better and my confidence is back. Most importantly, I can see my cheek bones again😁.
So, I’m going to continue this journey and slowly work to get to where I feel like my best self,learning and growing along the way.

78.5 kg Lost so far: 5.0 kg.    Still to go: 12.7 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.

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858 kcal

Fat: 24.96g | Prot: 76.64g | Carbs: 75.00g.   Breakfast: Hollywood Miracle Products Hollywood 48-Hour Miracle Diet, Chicken Breast, Chicken Breast. Lunch: Hollywood Miracle Products Hollywood 48-Hour Miracle Diet, Great Value Egg Makers, Great Value Egg Makers, Omaha Steaks Beef Top Sirloin Steak (4 oz). Snacks/Other: Hollywood Miracle Products Hollywood 48-Hour Miracle Diet. more...