FullaBella's Journal, 24 Jan 19

Thursday - January 24

Thank you again to all of my fellow FS members for the encouragement and support yesterday. It’s nice to be able to come here and talk about this WOE and ATF with like minded people. I think it takes the pressure off family and friends, especially when ‘they’ may be the some of the reasons why we need to come here in the first place.

Stop rolling your eyes. Yes, I know no one can make me overeat. Not once in my life can I recall being held down and force fed ice cream.

But then again, you gotta admit there’s a lot of passive aggressive overtones when the person with whom you’ve been discussing ‘high blood sugar and how to lower it’ daily for at least three months sends a ‘gift’ of not one but TWO dozen chocolate covered strawberries.

And then, trying to be proactive and re-gift them, I called another friend to come get them as she has a large family, explaining ‘I just can’t be eating things like this right now’ and she brings me chocolate fudge covered ritz crackers in exchange.

Judges, do we have a ruling? I thought so. So thank goodness for FS.

Enough of that. I buried the lead.

I have fallen in love …. With zucchini. Okay, go ahead and get the sordid one liners out of your system. They all just hit me too as I was typing that sentence. But it’s true. I am loving how they are a healthy substitute for pasta whether in a lasagna, ravioli, or as noodles. Really great texture. Very filling. The incredible edible zucchini. Who knew?

Of course, no love is perfect. The ‘this is too good to be true’ feeling nagged me to research and I found that zucchini is considered a fruit and each unit ( there it goes again, sounding dirty) contains nearly 3 grams of sugar. Of course, that’s really low compared to the sugar in Oreos so there’s that.

Nonetheless, I was wondering, like the whole ‘good fat vs bad fat’ discussion, can there be a ‘good sugar vs bad sugar’? Or is it ‘well, it is sugar but it’s not processed sugar and it’s unavoidable and much less than the sugar generated from processing the carbs in pasta’ type argument?

That number. Always with the freaking numbers. Numbers on the scale. Numbers on the glucose meters. We seem to live and die by those digits and it’s just insane sometimes. My friend, Yoga, claims she only allows herself 20 grams of carbs all day. I find that utterly unbelievable. But I guess if one sets the number ridiculously low it just helps keep things to a manageable level.

But that constant monitoring and the result being devastating mood swings hinging on a ‘good vs bad’ reading - I wonder if this all started with the gold stars and check marks in first grade. Much like Pavlov’s dog, I live for the conditioned response. How to break it?

I’ll have to solve that another day.

Bells

119.7 kg Lost so far: 9.5 kg.    Still to go: 38.1 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.

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2132 kcal

Fat: 112.33g | Prot: 145.22g | Carbs: 147.92g.   Breakfast: Raw Rev Glo Creamy Peanut Butter & Sea Salt. Lunch: Cucumber (with Peel), Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard, Polar Salmon Fillets. Dinner: Taco Bell Burrito Supreme - Beef, Sonic Cheeseburger with Mustard. Snacks/Other: Glucerna Butter Pecan Shake, Part Skim Mozzarella Cheese, Eating Evolved Keto Cup, Premier Nutrition Clear Protein Drink. more...