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Today's the day. I'm going to begin recovery.
I had a hard talk with my mother last night, and together, we've diagnosed myself with anorexia nervosa.
As of right now, I eat around 1200 calories a day. It may not seem like a lot, but it's already more than what I've been eating a month ago when I was eating less than 1000. To recover, we've decided to try to follow the Minnie Maud guidelines. That means that eventually, I should be eating at least 2500 to 3000 calories a day. Or course, we can't immediately jump to that number because my body won't be able to handle it and we can't risk me developing redeeming syndrome. But 2500 to 3000 is our goal.
Our recovery plan (note that my weigh-in with my mother is on Friday):
Today until Friday, I'm going to try to eat 1600 calories a day.
If I'm not at least 40.4 kg on Friday, I will have to eat at least 1800 a day until Monday. Then increase to 2000 from Monday to next Friday.
If I'm higher than 40.4 kg on Friday, I will increase my calories more slowly. I will eat at least 1700 a day until Monday. Then increase to 1800 from Monday to next Friday.
The toughest thing for me is to stop restricting. My body is begging me for nutrients. And I need them. If I want to eat something, I have to let myself eat it. I can't recover from an ED if I hold on to my "safe" foods and avoid my "fear" foods. This is much easier said than done, but with my mother, we are incorporating "fear" foods into my daily meal plan.
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40 kg
Lost so far: 5.2 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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1431 kcal
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Fat: 49.92g | Prot: 74.35g | Carbs: 168.58g.
Breakfast: Plain Congee, Soybean Curd, Brown Mushrooms (Crimini Italian) , Nephrite Jade Dates, Hard-Boiled Egg , Chicken, Chicken Stock . Lunch: Plain Congee, No Name Whole Green Beans, Chicken, Bertolli Extra Virgin Olive Oil. Dinner: Fried Beef, Pig's Feet, Cooked Asparagus (from Fresh, Fat Not Added in Cooking), Water Spinach, Bertolli Extra Virgin Olive Oil, White Rice. Snacks/Other: Ritz Crackers, Natrel 2% Partly Skimmed Milk, Natrel 2% Partly Skimmed Milk, Kirkland Signature Plain Greek Yogurt, Nephrite Jade Dates, Healthy Choice Greek Yogurt Bars , Natrel 2% Partly Skimmed Milk, Peaches , Neilson Dairy Fresh Homogenized Milk 3.25%, Donkey Hide Gelatin Cake. more...
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Losing 0.2 kg a Week
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 Comments
I’m proud of you and I know you can do it . Anorexia is a dangerous thing and like any other deseases where people get treatment and recover you should get treated as well. Remember we are our worst enemies. You’re a beautiful strong woman.
07 Aug 18 by member: nikkiferrera
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If you need some encouragement, I highly recommend “What Mia Did Next” on YouTube, she has some great advice on recovery and moving away from fear foods! Best of luck 😊
07 Aug 18 by member: emilya28
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@emilya28, yes! I've been watching her recently, and she's so motivating!
07 Aug 18 by member: kelly90503
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07 Aug 18 by member: SFB30
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I’m proud of you and happy you are trying to help yourself with your mom get better. I suspected as much but didn’t want to assume you were struggling with this until you had said you were. I’m hoping you can eventually get help with professionals that deal with this too. I’m praying for your strength to continue to get healthy and support you all the way. You’ve got this don’t give up and keep going. It’s hard but don’t give up.
07 Aug 18 by member: dzemsta
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I am so proud of you, I am a recovered bulimic and anorexic and it was really hard for me to admit I was ill. You're strong and you will recover!
07 Aug 18 by member: thalie11
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07 Aug 18 by member: kelly90503
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@thalie11 congratulations for recovering! I can't imagine how tough it was. Do you have any advice for me? Specifically about fear foods, increasing caloric intake, and not feeling guilty.
07 Aug 18 by member: kelly90503
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I had a diary and I wrote in it every time I had doubts or fears about my recovery, it helped. I was terrified of gaining a lot of weight fast, and I did but when you recover from an ED your body can retain a lot of water during the first few weeks/months (because of dehydration). It took a few months to get to a healthier weight and I had a few relapses, but it’s normal when you’re trying to recover from an ED. I think the guilt was the hardest but after a while I started feeling proud of my recovery. I started writing my achievements in my diary and it made me feel better. It’s been years and I still feel guilt but a lot less than I used to.
It also helped to talk about my illness with a close friend, like you did with your mother. I also started eating with other people and it helped a lot (I used to hide how little I was eating from other people, I was kind of isolated).
It took a while before I started eating my fear foods as you call them, I started by increasing my caloric intake (a little at a time, like you’re doing) and later, I added fear foods to my diet. It was too hard for me in the beginning and I had this crazy fear that I was gonna become fat.
07 Aug 18 by member: thalie11
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It is going to be hard but you can do it, be strong and kind to yourself. Congratulate yourself for trying to recover and keep trying :)
07 Aug 18 by member: thalie11
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kelly90503's Weight History
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