378000kcals's Journal

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09 November 2011

I will not be upset if the scale goes up tomorrow, but it's definitely nice to see it go down so much today! I actually moved the scale around the bathroom to make sure it wasn't an error... haha. I know better than to board the number roller coaster, but... well, it's just pleasant.

Food was decent yesterday. I went overboard on dinner, but it wasn't binge-level, just too high calorie to have had seconds. So it goes.

Taking the day off to catch up around the house and on homework. I called them, but I hope my boss(es) won't be upset come tomorrow... :).

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09 November 2011

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
132.9 kg	5.1 kg	4.1 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Losing 12.1 kg a Week

08 November 2011

I spent much of yesterday preparing yummy healthy food. I've found it's helpful to know exactly what you're having for meals, and effective to have the same thing for each breakfast and lunch. So for breakfast I made up two weeks worth of oatmeal baggies, by weight. They have protein powder, oatmeal, raisins, a little brown sugar, and cinnamon. I didn't have enough nuts but I usually add a half serving of walnuts or almonds as well, and have it with a piece of fruit. For lunch I made four kinds of soup (butternut squash, sweet potato peanut, lentil, and borscht) and divided them into one cup baggies. I freeze them flat and they stack nicely in the freezer. With this I'll have a simple spinach salad. For afternoon snack I cut some veggies into sticks and put them into individual baggies. I'll add a half serving of nuts or a cheese stick. Dinner will vary but I prepared a nice healthy menu.

The only thing I don't love is all the plastic I'm using. I have about a dozen reusable baggies, but not nearly enough. What's the phrase? Don't let the need for perfection keep you from good enough. Something like that.

Getting better all the time!

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08 November 2011

Weight:	Lost so far:	Still to go:	Diet followed:
134.6 kg	3.4 kg	5.8 kg	Reasonably Well

Add Comment Losing 0.3 kg a Week

07 November 2011

I've been struggling financially the past few weeks. I started an unpaid internship about a month ago on top of my paid job, and it's cutting into my hours. It doesn't have to be a conflict, but my enthusiasm for the new job caused some impractical decisions, haha. The impact of this though is that I'm struggling to put food on the table, so food quality has been low, and my kids have been getting the healthiest stuff. All the ramen I've been eating has me feeling like a real college student though! I'll be paid on Friday and things will be a lot easier.

I'm really lethargic and crappy feeling this week. Troubles in my home and personal life are magnified by exhaustion and hunger. I'm trying to keep in mind that this is not a normal time in my life, and that it's useless to dwell.

I love walking in the early morning! Sunrise is so beautiful here. My dog is so good on a leash... until we see other dogs! She goes nuts, and she's a 75 pound dog so it's incredibly difficult to keep her walking. She's still a puppy with a puppy's energy, but I'm working with her and I'm confident she can be trained. A crazy thing happened today though. We were walking this afternoon and as we passed a pitbull she went nuts, as usual. The dog's people were drinking and rather than ignoring us or taking their dog inside, like normal people, they accepted my dog's challenge... and let their dog out. Thankfully the dog was much less interested in fighting than the people were, but it was infuriating. Who does that?

I was watching Heavy on netflix (not the best plan, I know). I look at these women and thought, well, thank god I'm not that big! I caught myself thinking that though, and the truth is that it easily could be me. It's bizarre to still have "oh my god, how could they get that heavy?" thoughts even when I... am... that heavy. My perspective on myself is less than accurate. One of the women weighed in ten pounds below what I am now, and I was... shocked. I mean, I'm quite tall, and she was quite short, but... well, I'm not just a little flabby! I think it's good that I can love and appreciate what body I do have, but I do need to be honest with myself about what I really look like. I'm complacent because I don't have any health or mobility issues... so it's like I'm perfectly normal, just with 100 spare pounds of jiggle. This is only true because I'm young though, and I need to lose the weight BEFORE health complications slow me down.

I can do this. I am awesome.

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