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Wow I just had a whole long journal deleted before I could post it :( Another point for today.
I managed to remember to take my measurements last night. I wish I had done it 6 weeks ago when I first started this so it could be motivation. Some went up, some went down and some stayed the same, but I know that before too long these numbers will be dropping too.
3/14/12
Waist = 33 3/4
L & R Wrist = 6 1/4
L & R Thigh = 27 1/2
R Calf = 16
L Calf = 15
R Arm = 14
L Arm = 13 1/2
Chest @ boobs = 42
hips @ butt = 44
hips below butt = 43
Can't wait to see these numbers decrease. My diet and exercise plan is the only thing that seems to be on track right now.
And now for my daily venting. Feel free to stop reading:
I am sick of this pity party attitude I have had lately. Things in my personal and professional life are not going my way. Normally I am a relatively easy going person so when I can't seem to shake the "blues" I have, it starts to drive me crazy.
As for work, I have adopted the attitude "You can't change the past, all you can do is work to make sure the future is the best it can be". And I have decided that if things do not settle and or the things that are supposed to happen do not happen within the time period they are supposed to, then I will have to reevaluate my job at this company. It's sad because I have been here almost 8 years and I thought I would spend my career here. It's also scary to think of, because I have only had 2 other jobs in my life.
As for my personal life, it is going to take more than an attitude change to fix. As a matter of fact, it will take a geographical change or change of action on the part of my fiancee before things will get better. More and more the distance between us during the week has been weighing on me. I know why he is down there, it is the best place for him right now until he finds a job up here. He has a great job and he is helping his grandparents, whom he lives with when he is working during the week.
Unfortunately after 3 years of long distance I am starting to become very jealous of anyone I feel is intruding on MY TIME with him, even his family. Especially the people that see him on a daily basis like his father or sister. His father, whom also lives at his grandparents house will call him sometimes 15 times a day when he is home with me. It can be for things like family drama (which has been non stop since the day after we got engaged in November, most of which is caused by his father) or things as stupid as "oh did you see that play" when he's watching sports. And when his sister calls it's an automatic 45 minute conversation no matter what we're doing or who is around. Last night the phone calls started at 9pm - which is late around my house.
And it's not just his family, it's everyone. Like his buddy that got to ride in his new car before me - yes I know I sound ridiculous right now, but that's how jealous I am lately and it's the point of it, not the actual action. The black and white of it is that I don't feel like I am being put first as I feel I should be, being the girl he plans to marry. I have been feeling very alienated from him and like low man on the totem pole. He has involved everyone else in what is going on in his life - good or bad - before me. I find out after the fact and usually from whoever the other party is, including recently my best friend (no I am not concerned about cheating or anything), which I think was the catalyst for my feelings. Now I have the job of figuring out how to approach this with him without 1. Sounding like a complete psycho and 2. Not making him angry and defensive. UGH.
Well I feel a little bit better now that I have written this (twice). Have a good day, guys. I am going to try and get myself out of this funk. Is it 4 yet? I think I need a treadmill session.
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1480 kcal
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Fat: 54.31g | Prot: 155.01g | Carbs: 85.36g.
Breakfast: Muscle Milk Light Powder, Southwestern Chicken Breast Strips. Lunch: kettle jalapeno, Bistro Selections Roast Beef, Mashed Potatoes and Gravy. Dinner: cheddar cheese, pasta roni, chicken breast, asparagus. Snacks/Other: pistachio pudding salad, Light String Cheese. more...
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 Comments
Girl, I feel you on the guy thing! :( Guys sometimes forget that we need to feel like we are number one at times!
15 Mar 12 by member: Haley13P
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There is this line in a Greatful Dead song "Sometimes the light is all shining on me, other days I can barely see". I have found life seems to be that way, sometimes everything goes my way and then other times it feels like I'm fighting every step of the way. It looks like you are going thru one of those dark periods. I hope you find a way to talk to your fiance about what is bothering you, if you keep it bottled up it could explode at an inapropriate time. If you are thinking of making a career move is it possible for you to find work where he is? That way you could be together and more involved in his life.
15 Mar 12 by member: fatoldlady
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Sorry to hear you're in a funk. :( As for your job, I've been at mine 5 years and it would be scary to change now, so it must be hard for you having to make that decision. Sometimes though, change is for the better, so if you do have to find a new job maybe that is for the best. And for your fiance, I hope you can talk to him about your concerns. Maybe if you tell him that you're starting to feel jealous and that you don't feel important in his life, maybe he'll make an effort to change that. Guys are oblivious, so if you don't tell him there is a problem, then he probably thinks everything is okay. I would be upset if my hubby was gone all week, then comes home and is constantly talking on the phone to everyone else, especially if he'd talked to them all week. I hope you can find a good solution for both issues. Maybe your workout will help you de-stress. :)
15 Mar 12 by member: mars2kids
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Baileyrose85's Weight History
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