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Nuerosurgeon today with my son to follow up on the concussion. Appointment is not until 1pm. After the appointment, I have a general health check-up to test my cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. I am to fast before the appointment. The neuro and my appointment are out of town. Ordinarily, I would try to make an appointment early in the day if I had to fast but it just doesn't work out that way today. So, I have to skip breakfast and lunch. I am not happy about that because I suspect I will get fairly moody when I am hungry. This is the first doctor appointment I have scheduled in two years. The last appointment was when I was at a fertility specialist because I was unable to get pregnant. His solution was to lose 10% of my body weight and to prescribe me synthroid for hyperthyroidism. I've lost 20%. I haven't taken the synthroid...mainly because I ran out and was too embarrassed to return to the doctor and be weighed, then ridiculed. I didn't lose the weight to avoid the ridicule. I've lost the weight because I decided it was time for me to become healthy. And, as silly as it may sound, I want to run marathons. I am still irregular and do not ovulate. Interestingly, and maybe selfishly, after having lost 40 pounds the prospect of becoming pregnant no longer appeals to me. Husband is unwilling to adopt though. But today, I am going to suck it up and submit myself to a doctor's office. I know I will be nagged about losing weight, etc. etc. And though no medical professional has ever taken the time to truly get to know what happens in my life day in and day out (not that that is an excuse or defense for being fat) I am sure I will hear the lecture and experience the dread as I am told to step onto the scale. I have felt that dread my entire life of the scale in the doctor's office. Even at 119 pounds when I felt I was fat. And, in the Navy when I had to weigh in after every PT test. I am constantly reading about how overweight people burden the healthcare system. Yet, I intentionally avoid seeking medical treatment. I once had a broken leg that I waited three days before I sought treatment. I thought it was a sprain and self-diagnosed. Stupid, I know. But it is just how I am.
View Diet Calendar, 21 October 2013:
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1242 kcal
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Fat: 57.52g | Prot: 46.65g | Carbs: 136.55g.
Dinner: Vegetable Oil, Miyako Tempura Batter Mix, Southern Tsunami Sushi Bar California Roll, Chicken Breast (Skin Not Eaten), Naturally Fresh Ginger Dressing, Lettuce Salad with Assorted Vegetables (Including Tomatoes and/or Carrots), Miso Soup. Snacks/Other: Planters NUT-rition Heart Healthy Mix, Starbucks Nonfat Tazo Chai Tea Latte (Tall). more...
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2650 kcal
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Exercise:
Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 1 hour and 4 minutes, Dance (fast step, aerobic) - 20 minutes, Sleeping - 22 hours and 36 minutes. more...
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 Comments
I really identify with you on the 'avoid the doc to avoid the lecture' cycle that I've often allowed to affect my own health. I caught myself doing it the other day with the thought that 'now that I've lost 100+lbs I don't need to do the annual lab work that encouraged me to lose the 100lbs in the first place...' type thinking. Then I reminded Myself that THIN people do have heart attacks and diabetes... we just don't hear about it as much because obesity is at the forefront of every illness.. I've often said I could be bleeding from the eyes and have a hatchet sticking from my forehead and the first thing I'd get would be a lecture on my weight. I do empathize with the doctors and try to believe that they initially began their medical practice trying to do 'good' for their patients but it's crazy.. media, reports, news, etc., wants to blame every single thing wrong on obesity.
21 Oct 13 by member: FullaBella
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To me, it is like quitting smoking. Virtually everyone knows it is best not to smoke, but until they are ready to quit, no amount of badgering, demeaning or lecture is going to prompt them to do it. Same way with obesity. What I have found with myself is that demeaning, badgering and lecturing only made me more self-loathing and I would ultimately seek out food. It is just a little easier to hide smoking I would think than it is to hide your weight as there is not a smoking scale (unless you consider a pulse oximeter---but really, how often do docs measure that?). Now watch...today they are likely to hook me up to a pulse oximeter so I can eat my own words.
21 Oct 13 by member: 2ManyCurves
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Depends upon how much you smoke - yellow teeth & nails, the odor that permeates every stitch of clothing, your skin and hair .. and even without a pulse oximeter smoking can be detected quickly by listening to the lungs. But you are correct - whether it be lecture, demeaning comments or unsolicited advice, nothing works for anyone until they are ready short of being put into a coma and unable to choose. There were times in the past when I WANTED to lose weight and WAS given 'the pill' (phenteramine) and definitely lost a lot of weight and great side effects (because, after all... it's just short of a prescribed version of speed) but I didn't tackle my eating disorder during that time so as soon as the allure of losing, that maintenance period hit, the Dr would no longer prescribe the 'magic bean' because legally there is a limit to how long they can do it .. well, no spoiler alert needed, the weight came back. I only recall one physician actually being inappropriate about commenting on my weight. YES, they all say 'you realize that this obesity is going to cause you health issues' and even one doc that asked 'what if you made a small enough change and only lost 1lb a month... look where you could be in five years...' but whenever I WOULD decide I wanted to lose weight I wanted it fast, now, yesterday. Taking the time to do it right this time around has been a revelation to me but as you said, I was ready to do it. Again. Smoking - I remember sitting at the waiting room in the hospital as they were about to remove the mother-in-law's lower leg due to 'smoking related / caused complication' something and everyone there (but me) smoked and said things like 'I'd definitely stop before it gets that bad' but ... well, you know the thought to that.. how bad does it have to get? We all have different tipping points.
21 Oct 13 by member: FullaBella
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Depends upon how much you smoke - yellow teeth & nails, the odor that permeates every stitch of clothing, your skin and hair .. and even without a pulse oximeter smoking can be detected quickly by listening to the lungs. But you are correct - whether it be lecture, demeaning comments or unsolicited advice, nothing works for anyone until they are ready short of being put into a coma and unable to choose. There were times in the past when I WANTED to lose weight and WAS given 'the pill' (phenteramine) and definitely lost a lot of weight and great side effects (because, after all... it's just short of a prescribed version of speed) but I didn't tackle my eating disorder during that time so as soon as the allure of losing, that maintenance period hit, the Dr would no longer prescribe the 'magic bean' because legally there is a limit to how long they can do it .. well, no spoiler alert needed, the weight came back. I only recall one physician actually being inappropriate about commenting on my weight. YES, they all say 'you realize that this obesity is going to cause you health issues' and even one doc that asked 'what if you made a small enough change and only lost 1lb a month... look where you could be in five years...' but whenever I WOULD decide I wanted to lose weight I wanted it fast, now, yesterday. Taking the time to do it right this time around has been a revelation to me but as you said, I was ready to do it. Again. Smoking - I remember sitting at the waiting room in the hospital as they were about to remove the mother-in-law's lower leg due to 'smoking related / caused complication' something and everyone there (but me) smoked and said things like 'I'd definitely stop before it gets that bad' but ... well, you know the thought to that.. how bad does it have to get? We all have different tipping points.
21 Oct 13 by member: FullaBella
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Yes. I suppose you are correct. I am a non-smoker so in all fairness I don't know that being a smoker is hidden any easier than being overweight. I do understand the tipping points. I have started and stopped dieting many times. I believe this may be the longest consistent dedication to weight loss I have made. I do still frequently find myself looking to speed the weight loss up. I try to keep that in check, but I do falter. I think perhaps it is easier this time because technology keeps me accountable. Before I ever put any food in my mouth, I look it up and add it to my food diary. In many ways, I feel I have formed a bit of an addiction to my fatsecret diary.
I will say that today's visit to the doctor was somewhat a pleasant experience (as much as being stuck with a needle can be pleasant). I was seen by a nurse practitioner rather than a physician. I think her approach was better than how I have felt that I was treated by other physicians. She spared me from the lecture. And, I found her to be helpful in advising me on how to improve my lab counts (ie., eat more almonds/heart-healthy nuts and oatmeal to raise my HDL). Clearly I am still considered obese as far as BMI, but she didn't harp on me or lecture me. She did ask about my exercise routine and eating habits, but not in a demeaning manner where she assumed I was gobbling Big Macs and large fries at every meal. I felt like I received solid medical information from which I can now work to improve.
21 Oct 13 by member: 2ManyCurves
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2ManyCurves's Weight History
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