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Second Journal and a Weigh in - please don't worry - I'm not panicking. I had a long talk with my friend, the nutritionist and body builder, and I decided to record 'how it really is' especially as my clothes are fitting a little looser. He assures me I'm obviously gaining muscle and am at the stage where it will, slowly but surely, burn away the last of the fat but will take longer as I don't exercise regularly.
HE says, and I don't think he was placating me, that I look thinner than I did months ago. He says my body is catching up and this is a good thing. I need to go take a photograph because I did take one at 50lbs lost and again at 100lbs lost and I really feel I do look slimmer despite it only being 5lbs. I've had many people tell me 'you've lost a lot of weight since I saw you last summer' and that's not true. So the NBB said 'you've converted more fat to muscle'. Nice way of thinking about it.
So reflecting on my journal of the other day, I am at the weight so many people find themselves. Wanting to lose that last 10-15lbs. And I've been here many months. But this time, I will not give up and will not give into that same old bag of disordered eating tricks.
I was thinking another thing I do ... once I connected 'good fat' is that I may be eating too much fat. Then again I may not. But I shouldn't reject trying things like a yogurt dressing because 'it's lower in fat'. Or low fat cottage cheese at night. I do think I really do need to stay away from too much sugar. I didn't have a chance (okay, I didn't REMEMBER) to discuss this with NBB.
I also think I'm not eating enough. I say this despite being 150% of my RDI but I don't think it's high enough. I am going to raise that for a while and will continue to measure with more than a scale.
Change at this point is harder noticed. NBB assures me as long as I continue to eat clean and be physically active it will make a change bit by bit. There are many forces at play here - age, body type, etc - the the biggest is being happy with myself and loving myself today.
Even as *I* type this it sounds much like whistling in the wind because my old 'starve, get used to the hunger' eating disorder voice wants to wade in and say 'wrong, eating more is wrong, you just don't need it' but that's the same voice that led me astray over four decades. I'm going to try a different voice for a month.
Thank you all for your kind comments this morning. I apologize for being a downer and making you cry. I think sometimes I tend to want to 'shake it off' and forget what's really going on in my life while I try to hold onto and grip everything else. It can't be ignored or I'll be back at square one. I don't want to go there.
Bella
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81.6 kg
Lost so far: 47.6 kg.
Still to go: 0 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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1428 kcal
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Fat: 77.26g | Prot: 105.70g | Carbs: 90.97g.
Breakfast: Coffee-Mate Sugar Free Caramel Macchiato Coffee Creamer, Spectrum Organic Virgin Coconut Oil, Milk (2% Lowfat with Added Vitamin A). Lunch: Baby Spinach, Tomatoes, Cucumber (with Peel), Mayonnaise, Tuna in Water (Canned). Dinner: Baby Spinach, Mushrooms, Schwan's Mediterranean Vegetable Blend, Schwan's Marinated Salmon with Grill Flavor. Snacks/Other: Schwan's Whole Strawberries, Bob's Red Mill Chia Seed, Dannon All Natural Yogurt - Plain, Large or Small Curd Creamed Cottage Cheese. more...
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steady weight
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