FullaBella's Journal, 06 Jul 13

Saturday. Five doses of the RX so far and I feel sleepy but anxious - weird combination. I found out my husband's nurse is another member of the 'Flatliner Club' (that horizontal steady motion the Doc made to demonstrate the 'even out the highs & lows' effect of the drug). That's kinda familiar and spooky all at the same time.

I woke early (4am) hungry craving a country breakfast (biscuits with sausage, gravy and eggs - so that's what I had. The Farmer's Market's sales suffered when I didn't show up hungry as I have in the past. Bought a fresh cantaloupe and some incredible tomatoes. Lunch was a fresh salad of squash, cucumber, tomato, red onion & peppers again. Am thinking I'll mosey over to the market and pick up some chicken to grill for dinner.

I was reflecting this morning about my outer identity. I've been at a loss to decide a wardrobe since retiring from the corporate world. I'd love to pull off a casual classic polished look but the bumbling klutz in me knows I'd just spill gravy on my cashmere sweater.

It occurred to me I've been intuitively leaning toward 'quirky' with this weight loss. Of course, that is the fashion equivalent of 'no style' just as my abstract paintings are 'no talent'.

Nonetheless, that was the conclusion I reached when I caught my reflection in the store window this morning: over sized shorts, sparkly tank, over sized big shirt, summer fedora, leather sandals, pocket watch necklace. I look like I'm ready for a picnic but I wear things like this even to dine out (which may be why I don't have many dining out friends).

For me, though, I realized I am dressing in a way that says 'look at me' but not 'look at my body and the weight I've lost.' In my 20's, 30's & 40's I would wear clothes so tight (when losing weight) I'm surprised I didn't break a rib or two. Now? Not at all. Maybe my life is finally fitting me, quirks and all.

Bella

81.6 kg Lost so far: 47.6 kg.    Still to go: 0 kg.    Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
Losing 3.2 kg a Week

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Comments 
wow. breakfast sounds amazing, Bella. so does lunch. What's the flatliner club? Sounds scary. Haha, ready for a picnic. Glad your life is suiting you, although I think you could pull off any look you choose. Hey congrats on reaching your goal. You're amazing.  
06 Jul 13 by member: Helewis
I think when you are envisioning your wardrobe it should suit the person you want to be. Your summer outfit sounds adorable ...I m thinking way cool funky not "no style". What if you dressed mindfully....only things you loved. That would be a wardrobe.I need to take my own advice : ) if getting to Italy is a goal you will get there you of all people understand there is nothing you cannot achieve. 
06 Jul 13 by member: sharonfriz
Bella dear..you should have a fashion make over..go and try on clothes you may never had considered before...mix and match things that go together...I bet you could fine some snazzy stuff..try different colors of the same thing and see how it goes..you never know until you try...Love the breakfast idea...:O) 
06 Jul 13 by member: BHA
Hi Bella, missed your journal yesterday so big scratches for Mushy Face for the birthday. Your breakfast today sounds fabulous! I like the sound of your meditations when you imagine you are on a cruise ship, on your private balcony. Nice thought, makes me smile :) 
06 Jul 13 by member: sarahsmum
Weight loss often causes people, women especially it seems, to dress more revealing because they want to show off their new, leaner bodies. But that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with the way you choose to dress. The way we dress is a form of self expression and we all express ourselves in our own way. It's about what makes you feel comfortable and happy, not how you look compared to others or even how you look compared to how you dressed at some other time in your life. Maybe you are just too critical of yourself and, now that you can't take issue with your weight, you are choosing to make an issue out of your clothes. Give yourself a hug and rock that fedora, Bella. I'm reminded of a character from Saturday Night Live, Stuart Smiley. He was famous for looking in the mirror and saying "I'm good enough. I'm smart enough. And doggone it, people like me."  
07 Jul 13 by member: evelyn64
Happy Birthday to Mushy! Belly rubs! I am going to second that motion-wear only things you love. KEEP only things you love. My closet really has very few things in it, but I like 'em. I don't keep "work" clothes in the closet (old tee shirts and faded shorts, etc. that I wear to do housework). I only hang up the things I wear out in public so that they're unwrinkled and ready to go when I need them. A few skirts, a few tops, a single pair of jeans that are too big but I'm not ready to replace them quite yet, and a couple pairs of shorts. But I can make a bunch of outfits out of those few items. When you have more than you'll wear, you tend not to get creative with what you've got. Get everything out except what you already know you love, and pick out a couple of things each day to try on and see if you want them in the rotation. I know you have limited time so I do NOT recommend taking everything out to try it on all in one day-that just won't work for your life, and it'll become another distasteful task to struggle through. Clothes should be FUN! I love the line about maybe now your life is finally fitting you, and I really do think there is something to that. Some people (myself included) don't seem to be comfortable in their life until later in their life. I'm not sure why we're surprised by this but we do often seem to be. Totally jealous of the fedora, I ADORE hats! 
07 Jul 13 by member: CollyMP
I meant to go out and correct that-instead of "get everything out" I meant to say "get everything out of the way, off to one side" 
07 Jul 13 by member: CollyMP
That's so awesome that you can just wander over to the farmer's market for that awesome food.. Thanks for reminding me that I need to give my closets and dressers a major overhaul and purge a lot of the clothes that I no longer love!! :) 
07 Jul 13 by member: erika2633
DH and I just put 15 huge bags of clothes and shoes in the back of my car for charity drop off this weekend. I said goodbye to my fat clothes. I love putting on clothes that are normal sizes and aren't bought to "make me look smaller". Now my clothes can reflect my style more which is sort of a typical fashion magazine casual with a touch of glamour which is hard to do when I am unable to wear heels anymore. :) I am sure I would love your style - just wish you would post a picture so we could see! I went to an art festival yesterday and loved seeing the women and their way of expressing themselves. At least women have a since of expression - all the guys do are a pair of baggie khaki shorts and t-shirts with words - DH included. :) 
08 Jul 13 by member: Neptunebch

     
 

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