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Wow - am I ever weary this morning. Woke up about 2am in horrid pain (shoulder) and an hour later when still awake and in pain despite a pain reliever took a sleep aide but still no sleep. Cut off the caffeine intake at my normal 4 cups because I don't want the jitters. Feeling a little guilt because as much as I need a good 'business' day in the face of this economic downturn I am secretly hoping for little foot traffic as I'm having trouble managing my 'fake it for the customers' smile.
I am beginning to wonder if I'm regressing mentally ~~ yesterday I was journaling an identity with 'The Grinch' due to my deflating cheeks reappearing as massive wrinkles (even *I* can't pull off calling them dimples) and today I looked at myself and thought 'Woodstock'. Not the concert, the bird from Charlie Brown.
I've a tendency to cut my own hair at home because I hate going to the beauty shop but at least a couple of times a year I have to go get it cut professionally to even up all the ragged edges. But the hairdresser went overboard and took off about 2-3 inches! No worries, as they say, it'll grow back. But as I was leaving the receptionist asked if I wanted to schedule my next appointment and I thought 'uh ... sure... I'll see you in a year...' but just said 'uhm, no, not right away.
But my hair is the least of my worries today. Today I just want to get through the day without making any mistakes in business or with my diet.
Diet ... hmmm. Diet is fine - exercise is not. I'm just not nor ever have been a physically active person. I HAVE done it in the past but never gotten into that 'boy, I love this .. I really hate days when I miss my workout' and I've tried everything from property or hotel gyms to curves. Only once when I was just walking out around in a huge circle when we had a ranch did I get that 'endorphin' rush from the activity but it wasn't enough to hook me.
And right now, I'm just friggin tired. NOT NOT NOT making excuses because I know like the diet if I put my mind to it I can and will do it. I am just wondering if I DO need to increase my RDI. I think the things I AM eating are healthy enough to give me energy but I'm not sleeping (and I've actually cut caffeine from 'before') well.
I read something last night that to calculate how many calories you need to maintain your current weight, calculate your current weight by twelve. So when I started, I'd maintained mid 280's for over 4 years so by that rule I was taking in 3420 cals a day. When I joined FS and set my goal to weigh 150 my RDI was set at 1400. The recalc the other day set it at 1800 (although I didn't accept it) but if I were to use this 1800 that would be inline with the 150lb weight goal. So I wonder why the 1400 in the first place BUT NOW I have to get past that thing in my HEAD that says 'hey, if you increase 2800 cals a week you'll start gaining.'
So the voices in my head are battling because the other side of the brain is saying 'no, you're at 250 right now so to stay 'there' you'd have to eat 3000 cals a day so you're looking at it all wrong.
And I think 'that' along with the arm & shoulder pain, is the reason I didn't sleep well last night. The bottom line is everyone is different and in no universe am I 'starving' at 1400 a day - in fact, some days I find it hard to reach that because I'm just not hungry but I fear stalling my metabolism even worse than it is by cutting too many cals but but but what to do?
Ahh... too many questions on my sleepy little mind.
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113.4 kg
Lost so far: 15.9 kg.
Still to go: 31.8 kg.
Diet followed: Reasonably Well.
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View Diet Calendar, 02 November 2012:
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1338 kcal
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Fat: 25.48g | Prot: 82.42g | Carbs: 232.78g.
Breakfast: dannon greek, coffee, flax, quaker oatmeal. Lunch: spinach, schwans chicken breast, grape tomato, schwans cal. Dinner: tomatoes okra corn, bagel chips, salad, cherry peppers, tomatoes, cucumber, rainbow salad. Snacks/Other: triple threat, granny smith apple, Nonfat Peach Greek Yogurt, fiber one. more...
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3697 kcal
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Exercise:
Shopping - 1 hour, Bowling - 15 minutes, Resting - 1 hour and 45 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours, Sitting - 7 hours, Desk Work - 6 hours. more...
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steady weight
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