FullaBella's Journal, 23 Jan 19

I saw Draglist and others drink a protein in the evening and decided to try it. It cuts the cravings.  

I know it's hard...I am super disgustingly sick and in pain and there are days when I hate this fight too. But...my goal is not for me lol it's for my doctors. Not the doctor I have now...he's cool he can separate my weight from my illness. But so many of the doctors that I've had in the last few years couldn't...so when people ask me why I'm doing it...I'm doing it to prove them wrong! I'm doing it to show them that they can't treat me like that! I will lose this weight and when I'm still sick they will be forced to treat my illness not my weight!! That is a @#$#%@ reason to lose weight but it's all I have. I can't consistantly care enough about myself to lose it. I am working on the reasons why but in the meantime...I have an excellent reason to be doing this. So what if it's so I can flip off those docs?!?!? Who cares?!?!? It's working!!! So now you have to find a thing that helps you with the cravings. I have rediscovered fresh raw veggies and fruits. I have a broth called dashi that makes me feel full after 1 Cup. I have a PokeStop near my house that I can walk to 3 times a week. Find your stuff! Ask people what helps them and try that! That is why you are here and that's why we're here! We are your resources and FS is an excellent tool...use us!! Don't worry, we like it! 

thanks for posting today - I can't say how often over the last year I have felt exactly like that. Fortunately there are more good days in a row and those frustrations are less. I wish you all the best on your adventure.  

I fully understand, been there and maybe will be again. Right now I am doing well, and have lost 20 pounds since Christmas. Why? Because on Christmas Eve I could barely walk. When my blood sugars are high because I am eating and eating and eating I have a body part that becomes so inflamed and I experience extreme pain. The pain has moved to different joints over the years. I binge for days then I have an espisodes of pain. On Christmas Eve my hip hurt so bad I didn’t drink anything because it was so painful I didn’t want to walk to the bathroom. I can’t stand the pain hence the eating right at this time. Okay in January of 2016, it was back pain and pain down my leg. Went to doctor, he said I had a bulged disk causing the pain. Did exercises and went to PT and took prescription NSAIDS. Back, leg improved with treatment but it took months. In December of 2016, I was diagnosed with kidney disease-Nephrotic syndrome (too much protein in the urine)which can be caused by NSAIDS. I was prescribed 60 mg of Prednisone. Not much pain but blood sugars sky rocketed and gained 35 pounds. I was miserable and really ate and I didn’t have mood swings I WAS CRABBY all the time. Whenever the doctor tried to decrease the prednisone I would relapse. So he put me on a treatment of a chemotherapy of 8 weeks. After 21 days I was panting when I walked and so lethargic one night that the kidney specialist told me to go to my primary physician the next morning-that he would arrange it. Then he called me back and said if I got worse that night to go to ER. I arrived at the clinic and had an oxygen level in the low 80s. I was admitted to a metro hospital and spent 4 days there with them trying to find out what was wrong. All pulmonary tests came back normal and some they repeated and they came back normal. I was sent home with diagnosis of unspecified virus inflection (no fever, blood counts normal, no cough, no mucus, no pneumonia, lungs sounded fine, but my chest felt tight) and sleep apnea. I was so mad, no doctor would admit that it was the chemo drug. When I crabbed at the kidney doctor, he said he would never prescribe that chemotherapy drug again for me, I said it doesn’t matter I will never take the drug again. You should have seen his face, like oh she has backbone. Couple of years now and I am being weaned from the prednisone so the pain is no longer being masked. I went the doctor today. Still got the bad back, but he thinks the hip pain is weak muscle, treatment-stretches, ice, and walking is what I have to do. Once I found out it wasn’t bone problems, I can work through the pain.  

Don’t be so hard on yourself. We are all struggling here. I have a plan. I’ve committed to following it. I look at it like a science experiment. I follow the plan, record all the data and analyze the results so I can tweak if needed. I’m up and down all over the place, but I am generally going in the right direction. Just keep on moving forward! Keto is lowering my blood sugar, weight loss is much more difficult. Last weekend I messed up, but the next day you get back on plan. Your health is worth it! 

The first paragraph of your posting made me laugh and laugh. Oh, the places your mind goes in the midst of a craving coupled with a bad day! Thank goodness your not wanting to get dressed won out! I hear you on the rest. 

Thank you all for your sharing and support. The messed up part of the donuts debacle is that I wasn't craving sugar; in fact I'm really doing well so far with the bread and sugar cravings. ( knock wood ). The insanity was the WTF over the high blood sugar reading - somewhat of a "well, screw it. I continue to analyze the 'what and when' of my intake to figure out how to improve. I'm just trying to not insane with the day to day minutiae of it all.  

One thing that my doctor told me that has helped me not to worry about a high blood sugar. He said it is the nature of the disease:I think of of a high blood sugar when I have did everything right as”whacked”. It just what it is. Also, probably people without diabetes have fluctuating blood sugars, they don’t monitor it. Also, he told me that A1c is a better test of how I am doing. You take care. Horseshu1 is right, you are funny. Humor always helps. 

We are there with you.  

Ginger Dog that's some great advise! Thanks ' 

great advice, sorry for the spelling error! 

Hey girl. I see to many sick people my age out here where I live and they are just making themselves sicker eating candy, cakes, and fast food. They are getting heart attacks and on medications and they keep eating sugars and crap. They don't worry about what they eat. I want to live healthier while I am on this planet. I know I could die any day, but I haven't gotten to the point of saying "screw it" yet. I just want to NOT get any sicker or not be able to walk. I don't want to wind up having surgeries because of the extra weight on my joints. It's my mindset. When I get cravings at night ... which I do .. I make a decaf coffee with sugar free sweetener and cream. Seems to help me. Sometimes a flavored herbal tea does it for me. You are doing great!! Just keep going. Hugs! 

M2B, I brush my teeth and put in my night splint. LOL at me.  

Well, that would work, Ginger Dog. It is like a lock on your mouth. LMAO!! You guys are funny! 

I do understand and it is so easy to leave a machine (scale, glucometer, whatever it is) rule us. I know you know this, but I will say it anyway...stress will effect your reading negatively you. You need something to help you destress. I am an emotional eater and that has been very hard to stop/change. I realize it will be a work in process, but we can do this. I am with Mom2Boxers; at night when I feel like I want to snack or have something it is typically a cup of coffee with a little butter and coconut oil blended up. Does the trick for me. Take care and hang in there.  

Stay with us - we would miss you 

I am with you. I'm going through the same thing with my healthcare and been feeling like stuffing my face with anything sweet till I get sick. We need to step back and reflect and keep chopping away at the mountain in front of us. It's ok to fail but don't stay there..get back up and start again..hang in there.. 

Hi, Bell@. One year ago I was out walking and all of a sudden my legal started hurting and shaking. I. couldn't move! After 15-20 minutes, I started to finish my walk. It usually took me about 7-10 minutes to get from where I was to home. It took 45 minutes. My doctor diagnosed me with Piriformus muscle syndrome. He gave me 2 uscle stretches to do w everyday. After 4onthes of exercising and not getting better, I went back and asked for be a cortisone injection to help with the pain. He out and out refused! Let me say that he was a DO, and that his muscle manipulation would correct the way I walked and that with the stretches, the pain would stop. This all started September 2017. September 2018, after the DO had left (probably other people upset with not receiving any help),went to another PCP and found out that he didn't treat long term pain. But, he did get me an appointment with a pain management clinic. There, after x-rays and they arranged for the cortisone injection. the right hip was great, but there was no improvement. The pain clinic Dr. sent me back to the orthopedic doctor and he gave me another injection I my right hip. It's great!! I can now walk half of my previous distance. It's starting to burtbalittle again, though. . Over a year and 4 months I was in screaming agony. The moral of my little story is: hang in there no matter what and things will work out for you,too. You might want to try either chamomile, valerian root, or hops herbs to help with your stress. I've named them in order of strength. They can also make you tired and sleepy. I used chamomile during the day and valerian root at night. Hope this helps.